Frostbites, handicapped toilets, milk crates and near arrests

One of the few stories from 2004 that I recall more than 40% of is the Frostbites night of Green Week.

Frostbites is a club/pub in the city and to be honest I don't really remember much about the place at all except the toilets were upstairs and quite difficult to find. Over 100 drunk uni students were in attendance for the ridiculously cheap drinks, including 1 hour of free beer. Ben who hadn't really drank very often before asked me what he should order. This was probably a mistake, after waiting in line for quite some time to get to the bar he ordered his triple scotch. Now as you can imagine it made sense to skull one drink and buy another in order to minimise waiting time for drinks (as they wouldn't serve you if you already had a drink, to avoid people stockpiling during the cheap times. So Ben returned with a glass and announced, 'this is a double, I skulled the triple'. He later vowed to never to drink another triple scotch again, at the penalty of paying me some amount of money. One day I'm sure I'll be able to tell the story of Ben breaking this vow; but not yet.

I don't really know much of what happened while we were at Frostbites, however I do recall when the beer finally hit my bladder and I was unaware of the upstairs area (where the toilets were). It seems many people had the same problem and had formed a que outside the single handicapped stall on the ground floor. I was fer too drunk and cocky to wait in a line to piss so I just followed some scared looking guy into the toilet and made quite a mess of the handicapped toilet sink. I think the other guy on the toilet had stage-fright.

The next memory is of Ben sitting in a stupor in a corner cursing triple scotches while barfing into a plastic potted fern. The following few hours are very sketchy. Picture it a montage of 100 drunken uni students running around the city. There was a large circle of singing stupid songs, I lost and found Ben several times who by this point was really my responsibility and there were milk crates worn as helmuts being used to headbutt duel in a park somewhere. I also managed to walk into a pub with the crate and pour a beer on my face trying to drink through it before security said I'd have to leave it outside.

Now at some point during all this stupidity, myself and Ben stopped for Subway and somehow lost the entire crowd of 100 people. This didn't last long however, as we stumbled about the city looking for friends we followed the loud screams to stumble across the same 100 uni students running naked through the streets.

The last notable event of the night was when all 100 people tried to fit into a very very small 7/11. approx 3mx4m.
We were crushed into the walls while more and more people tried to fit in and everybody starting eating everything in the store. You'd think of 100 educated people, just one of them would have noticed the store clerk calling emergency. When the police came we were defacing some form of monument or something when the police came and we scattered. A taxi dropped me off at my car at Monash at the same time as an unidentified car dropped Ben off in the same carpark. We have yet to establish who drove him there.

The following day I sat on my new milk crate and played cards all day.

The beer bong and the 16 year olds

When we were 18 I accompanied Sean to a going away party for a 16 year old girl he knew from Cadets. Kim.
Naturally we brought 2 slabs an a beer bong and entered the party as those older guys who are just so freaking cool to 16 year olds.
Now I'd be lying if I said I remembered more than 10% of this night at this point however the important details are there. One 15 year old girl (Jacqui) took a liking to me so to show her 'coolness' kept having a go at the beer bong. Now I was well aware that she was only trying to impress me so I did the responsible thing the older, more mature person should do in this kind of situation; I encouraged her until she passed out on a bean bag.
Allegedly I was spotted semi-conscious in the laundry with a bra on my head and there was definitely a fair attempt at break dancing.
Oh and while the details are not completely clear, it is possible Sean's on the hook for statutory rape. Who knows.

In the beginning

It would be difficult to describe when it began. How it began however probably stems from spending my adolescent years with pool players. Many of the earlier stories have been forgotten as a result of the stories to follow, however here are a few short snippets of the early years.

The first notable event would have to be when I was 14 at my cousins 20th birthday. People kept sneaking me girly vodka drinks until they realised they weren't the only one doing so and I was dancing on the bar to "Rock DJ". There was a great deal of pelvic thrusting which was probably quite a sight considering my age. However this isn't the point of this story; the following morning we were flying to Queensland for a family holiday. An extremely hungover/drunk 14 year old boy who suffers motion sickness probably shouldn't fly. When everybody on the plane was standing awaiting to pile out, it came. Everywhere. Spraying through the gaps in my fingers, it sprayed at least 8 passengers before I controlled it onto a seat, which overflowed.
Some flights that day were delayed.

In the following years, pool players got me drunk several times and hilarity often ensued, however I'll save those stories for another time. Except let it be noted that drunk pool players are willing to lose quite a bit of poker to a teenager.

The first year of uni was a haze of alcohol, most accounts were of the following form.

Saturday 0700 - Morning
Saturday 0900 - First Beer (outside 'the pool room' in ferntree gully)
Saturday 1000 - Much pool and beer at state titles
Saturday 1800 - KFC and La Porchetta
Saturday 1900 - Got to JD's, couldn't play much pool. Mostly beer
Saturday 2100 - Went to a club. Had 5 pints according to the drink card in my pocket
Sunday ???? - Another club.
Sunday ???? - ????????????
Sunday ???? - Stumbled around looking for a party.
Sunday 0300 - Back to the second club.
Sunday 0500 - Club closed, went for walk.
Sunday 0600 - Maccas breakfast
Sunday 0800 - Bed

Most of these episodes have been combined together in my memory as a sequence of short clips. I will endeavour to include them all here.